Monday, June 23, 2008

It's Time

I've been stuck for a while now, trying to find a way forward that would still leave me whole. I tried to take stock, but all I could see was this mass of old hurts and the laundry list of my lackings. 

Surely in all these negatives, there had to be some positives? 

And this last weekend, I discovered them. I met with this fabulous group of women that I look up to and admire. And I was accepted and liked and yes, loved. And I accepted and liked and gave love. These smart, funny, capable women told me I am strong, and witty, and wise. 

And if they think it is so, then surely it has to be true. And truth is ever true; it cannot be unmade by time or will. 

So, I cannot change the truth of what was: my past made me who I am today, everything these women see in me and more. 

I cannot change what is; we are who we are today. 

I can change what will be. Instead of clinging to the shadows in the ruins left from my past, I can move out into the sunlight, to see and accept the gifts the past has left me. 

It is time to move on.

It is time to let go. 

It is time to forgive. 


Blogger Keziah Fenton said...

Oh Cary I'm so glad to read this post. You are an amazing, wonderful funny, inspirational, strong, generous, caring, beautiful woman. Had I not been following along at home through this blog I would have had no idea what shadows dragged at your heels. There was sunlight all weekend. Whenever you need a reminder, take a good look at your monster wisteria. There were as many different suggestions as people. You pick the one you prefer. Life isn't much different. It's constantly changing and moving forward with shadows and light both essential elements in order to survive. Sorry if I'm not quite articulate, still exhausted, but happy.

6:45 AM, June 25, 2008  
Blogger McB said...

Strong, witty, wise, warm and wonderful. Come out from under that bushel basket, girl, and let the rest of the world see your light.

9:27 AM, June 25, 2008  
Blogger Merry said...

Plus, your hairy friends are always going to give you the truth. Fred & Clarke think you're the Best Human Ever :)

5:39 PM, July 01, 2008  
Blogger Merry said...

Sorry, got interrupted.
If /they/ think you're great, and /we/ think you're great, then mayyyyyybe there's a side of yourself you haven't been giving enough credit?

6:01 PM, July 01, 2008  

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