Just What is "Normal" Anyway?
That's my question for the day. It seems I may have spent most of my life (or at least the last fifteen or so years of it) dealing with depression. So how do I know what normal is for me? When I don't remember what being happy felt like, how am I supposed to tell when simply being "happy" has crossed into mania?
They say that is one of the biggest problems with the manic phase of bipolar disorder - how you (and others) can perceive the manic you.
One day, you come out of your "funk" and the house is neater and cleaner, you're sleeping less, you're taking more care with your appearance - in turn, feeding your self-confidence. You're able to do more - the cooking, the shopping, writing and creating - all the things you wouldn't or couldn't do while depressed.
When you've been a functional depressive for so long, all you or anyone can think is "Wow!". Your colleagues notice that your work performance has improved: you're smiling more and showing more confidence, you're more productive, you're finally starting to arrive at work on time. At home, your friends and family notice these things, too. You notice.
And when everything suddenly seems to be going so right, after being so wrong for so long, you (and everyone around you) can have trouble noticing that it's become a problem.
Sure, you're getting more things done at home, but that's because you're still cleaning dishes at 1:00 a.m. And yes, you're taking on more projects at work, but that is because your mind can't concentrate on any one thing for too long. And yeah, maybe you finally start to tackle that one big "honey-do" chore you've been putting off forever, but that's because mania gives you feelings of omnipotence and euphoria - you can conquer anything, even the new deck.
They say that is one of the biggest problems with the manic phase of bipolar disorder - how you (and others) can perceive the manic you.
One day, you come out of your "funk" and the house is neater and cleaner, you're sleeping less, you're taking more care with your appearance - in turn, feeding your self-confidence. You're able to do more - the cooking, the shopping, writing and creating - all the things you wouldn't or couldn't do while depressed.
When you've been a functional depressive for so long, all you or anyone can think is "Wow!". Your colleagues notice that your work performance has improved: you're smiling more and showing more confidence, you're more productive, you're finally starting to arrive at work on time. At home, your friends and family notice these things, too. You notice.
And when everything suddenly seems to be going so right, after being so wrong for so long, you (and everyone around you) can have trouble noticing that it's become a problem.
Sure, you're getting more things done at home, but that's because you're still cleaning dishes at 1:00 a.m. And yes, you're taking on more projects at work, but that is because your mind can't concentrate on any one thing for too long. And yeah, maybe you finally start to tackle that one big "honey-do" chore you've been putting off forever, but that's because mania gives you feelings of omnipotence and euphoria - you can conquer anything, even the new deck.
posted by Cary at 10:54 PM
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